Stephen Colbert Prays That Trump Can Deliver – The New York Times
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“That is a terrible idea, and please, Jesus, let it happen,” Colbert said of the former president’s initial desire to deliver his own closing argument in his fraud trial.
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Former President Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial is expected to come to a close on Thursday. Trump had intended to deliver part of the closing argument himself, but he backed down after refusing to abide by the judge’s restrictions, including that he not give “a campaign speech.”
On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert noted that Trump had been saying “a lot of crazy stuff about this trial” and hoped he might “also say crazy stuff during the trial” for the late night host’s own amusement.
“That is a terrible idea, and please, Jesus, let it happen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Unfortunately, this afternoon, the judge rescinded permission for Trump to give his own closing argument. Boo! I knew Justice was blind; I didn’t know she was a buzzkill.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Don’t worry, as a comedian, I immediately filed an appeal: ‘Your honor, please, that would get us through February. I mean, come on. Think about our jobs.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“There’s nobody fun left to watch. It’s like a box of Lucky Charms without the marshmallows now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on Chris Christie’s dropping out of the presidential race on Wednesday
“He made this tough decision after looking at the polls and realizing it was an easy decision.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Christie is not expected to make any endorsements at this time, but the timing of this decision indicates that he’s clearing the way for Nikki Haley to take all of his voter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Of course, Chris Christie was the most high-profile and consistent critic of Trump still in the Republican primary — unlike Ron DeSantis, whose campaign slogan is ‘Ron DeSantis: Trump 2024.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yep, it all comes down to this. After tonight, it’ll become clearer who will more not be the nominee.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis were the only candidates besides Trump, who wasn’t there, qualified to be in the debate. Trump calls them ‘Bird Brain’ and ‘the Meatball,’ which sounds like a morning radio team from 1995.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Why are they even letting them debate? This is like what happens between innings at a baseball game when they let the guys in the hot dog costumes race each other.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“What a night between Haley and DeSantis. It was like Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen, minus the joy, booze, and viewers.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, it’s just Haley and DeSantis — it’s like when you go to a concert, and the only original band members are the bass player and the guy on the tambourine.” — JIMMY FALLON
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